06/02/08

Limitations

“When I was 37 I realized that I would never ride in a convertible down the Champs Elysées.”  -  I read that in a book awhile ago.

It’s a theme I’ve heard in other places. When you get older you start to realize what your limitations are. You realize that some of the dreams you had when you were younger will never happen, and you accept yourself as you are, with those limitations.

I was already wondering - what’s wrong with me? I’m 39 and I have no problem imagining myself riding in a convertible down the Champs Elysées. I’m sure that could easily happen in my life. 

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But then last week I did discover one terrible limitation I have. I don’t know if it’s something I’ve always had and never noticed or if I am just getting old. Maybe it’s the first sign of dementia, who knows?

I was driving into Tampere from the south when my phone rang. It was a colleague and we got to talking. ‘Oops!’ I said as I went right past the exit where I was supposed to get off. We talked some more, I drove past the second exit, and before I knew it I was way on the north side of Tampere and headed to Jyväskylä!

After I got off the phone and turned around, I had to face the awful reality: I cannot do 2 things at the same time!!!!!

Now if I were a man this might not be so terrible. We all know the problems men have with doing 2 things at once. We all know they can’t even walk and chew gum at the same time. So it’s a natural limitation which they have all their lives. They’re used to it and we all accept it.

But I am 1) a woman, 2) a mother, and 3) a manager. All 3 of these are people who should be able to do any number of things at the same time: watch TV and knit, make dinner and listen to the kids fight, read and drive a car (OK, I’ve done that, but only in places like the Kansas prairie).

I got into a panic. What on earth is wrong with me? Am I a deficient human being? In desperation I started explaining to other people about this huge lack in my character and asking them about their own experience.

Funny enough, it turned out that other people had the same problem. Most of them didn’t even think of it as a problem (mostly the men, but some women too), they just accepted it as the way their brains worked. Someone even suggested to me the radical idea that maybe people shouldn’t even HAVE to try and do more than one thing at a time.

I tried that thinking, but I guess I’m too much of a woman. I decided in the end that it’s just a limitation I have. I don’t know if I’ve always had it or if it’s a sign of getting old, but I accept it.

Even with that limitation, though, I can still imagine driving down the Champs Elysées one day in a convertible. And if someone happens to call me right then, I’ll also drive right on out to the French countryside in that convertible. If it’s a long conversation, I might end up in Belgium before it’s over. 

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VOCABULARY: Limitation: rajoitus, convertible: avoauto, Exit: liittymä, chew gum: pureskella purukumia, Deficient: vajavainen