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06/02/08 |
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SHOPPING WITH MEN
Our neighbors, Paivi and Ossi, came into the yard one day. Paivi looked really mad and she was kind of foaming at the mouth. I went over: “Hey Paivi, sit down, cool off, what’s the problem? Surely it can’t be that bad!” Paivi: “We…went…shopping…together!” Me: “AHHHH!! It IS bad! Sit down, let me go see if I can find some Valium for you.” It’s one of the stupid things we women do once in awhile: we take our husbands with us to town and try to shop. The thing is that men do things backwards. They take a whole bunch of time to do something absolutely small and take about 3 seconds to do something important, like buy a pair of shoes. Now here’s an example of a normal shopping trip where both a man and woman go together. They’re looking for winter shoes for the kids, because the kids don’t have any. The first things they do is park the car. Now, if you let the man do it the way he wants to, parking the car will take 2 hours. Men amaze me in this: there’s this parking lot just full of cars. There is exactly ONE empty place, and it’s right in front of them. The man stops the car and starts to think. After about 10 minutes he finally says, “So, you think we should go in that one? (Question: WHAT was he thinking about for so long?) So then they go shopping. The man runs through the stores yelling, “So what did we come to buy? What? Shoes? For the kids? But they already have some shoes at home? This is dumb! Find what you want and let’s GO already!” The woman keeps looking at the kids’ shoes, which cost more than some of the furniture in their apartment. The man is going on: “This ins really stupid. I can’t stand this. All these people are stupid. WE’RE stupid for being here! These shoes are too expensive!” She looks at him and thinks to herself, “What if I forget the shoes and buy a good puukko (knife. The kind you use to skin fish or stab people) instead?” Finally the woman gives up. The kids will just have to have cold feet for awhile longer. She drags the man out of the store. They’re going back to the car when the man suddenly yells “STOP!!!” It’s a sports store. With fishing stuff. On sale. Oh God. She sees the man only once in the next 1 ½ hours when he comes outside to ask her for more money. When he’s done, he has a huge bag full of new fishing lures: “And think! They only cost 380 marks altogether! It’s a good thing we didn’t get those shoes for the kids. Then we wouldn’t have had enough money to buy lures.
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SHOPPING WITH MEN
Our neighbors, Paivi and Ossi, came into the yard one day. Paivi looked really mad and she was kind of foaming at the mouth. I went over:
“Hey Paivi, sit down, cool off, what’s the problem? Surely it can’t be that bad!”
Paivi: “We…went…shopping…together!”
Me: “AHHHH!! It IS bad! Sit down, let me go see if I can find some Valium for you.”
It’s one of the stupid things we women do once in awhile: we take our husbands with us to town and try to shop.
The thing is that men do things backwards. They take a whole bunch of time to do something absolutely small and take about 3 seconds to do something important, like buy a pair of shoes.
Now here’s an example of a normal shopping trip where both a man and woman go together. They’re looking for winter shoes for the kids, because the kids don’t have any.
The first things they do is park the car. Now, if you let the man do it the way he wants to, parking the car will take 2 hours. Men amaze me in this: there’s this parking lot just full of cars. There is exactly ONE empty place, and it’s right in front of them. The man stops the car and starts to think. After about 10 minutes he finally says, “So, you think we should go in that one? (Question: WHAT was he thinking about for so long?)
So then they go shopping. The man runs through the stores yelling, “So what did we come to buy? What? Shoes? For the kids? But they already have some shoes at home? This is dumb! Find what you want and let’s GO already!”
The woman keeps looking at the kids’ shoes, which cost more than some of the furniture in their apartment. The man is going on: “This ins really stupid. I can’t stand this. All these people are stupid. WE’RE stupid for being here! These shoes are too expensive!” She looks at him and thinks to herself, “What if I forget the shoes and buy a good puukko (knife. The kind you use to skin fish or stab people) instead?”
Finally the woman gives up. The kids will just have to have cold feet for awhile longer. She drags the man out of the store. They’re going back to the car when the man suddenly yells “STOP!!!”
It’s a sports store. With fishing stuff. On sale. Oh God.
She sees the man only once in the next 1 ½ hours when he comes outside to ask her for more money. When he’s done, he has a huge bag full of new fishing lures: “And think! They only cost 380 marks altogether! It’s a good thing we didn’t get those shoes for the kids. Then we wouldn’t have had enough money to buy lures.
This site was last updated 01/10/07