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06/02/08 |
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Sweet RevengeI talked to an old friend on the phone last weekend. Me: “So did you get our gift for little Gracie?” Gracie is their 2-year-old. Friend: “Yeah, we did…” Me: “So did she like the markers?” Friend: “The markers are, shall we say, not available to her right now. We had to hide them and hope she forgets about them. That marker stuff doesn’t wash off no matter what! In fact, can I ask you something?” Me: “Sure.” Friend: “Is this some kind of revenge?” She is referring to some gifts she sent to our kids when they were smaller, which often turned out to be horrible things which it seemed were invented just to drive parents crazy. One of those was a set of markers, which they used to draw all over everything before we realized it didn’t wash out. Me: Laughing my head off: “No, it’s not revenge. It’s just the START of revenge!” Friend: “While I was desperately washing Gracie’s face trying to get the stuff off, I suddenly remembered that I had heard about this happening to someone else before. I tried to remember who, and then it hit me: you had this same problem, and it was me who gave your kids the markers! Then I realized what was behind all this.” Me: “Did Gracie notice that the markers also smell nice, like fruits and flowers?” (this was something extra that the markers she sent my kids didn’t have) Friend: “Oh yes, she did!” Me: “Did she put them up her nose to smell them?” Friend: “Oh yes, she did that too.” It’s perfect! Just like my husband and I imagined it when we bought the things. Friend: “So did you have fun buying those markers?” Me: “Oh yes, the minute you told us you were going to adopt a baby, we spent one whole evening PLANNING this and all the other gifts we’re going to send her over the years! It was great fun, I can tell you." She probably doesn’t remember the other parent-killing toys she sent our kids, but we sure do and she will remember them soon, when we send the same to Gracie. Ha ha ha! The next one, for example, is a gorgeous Bob the Builder cup with a straw in it. Kind of like the ones she sent our kids when they were 2 or 3. They loved the cups so much that they filled them up and drank and drank, just for the fun of it. Then they went to bed and peed all over. After that comes some kind of modelling clay, but it has to be the kind that sticks on everything and won’t come off. It would be good if it were color clay too, and the color would come off onto your hands and furniture… Revenge is truly sweet.
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