06/02/08

3 or 13?

Have you ever noticed that, in many ways, a teenager is just like a small child? It doesn’t matter that she’s now older, you can’t help thinking that she sometimes acts exactly like she did when she had just learned to walk. Here are just a few things I’ve noticed.

 1.  WHAT'S BOTHERING THEM?

Remember when your kids were babies and they were crying, and you had to play this big guessing game to try and figure out what’s wrong with them? I’ll never forget that. And after they reached school age, I never thought I’d need to deal with it again. I was wrong.

With babies, it’s: Oh no! The baby’s crying! What’s wrong, baby? Does your belly hurt? Are your diapers dirty? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Just a little depressed about life in general? What is it!!??

 12 years later, it’s: Oh no! The teenager’s in a bad mood. What’s wrong with her? Does her belly hurt? Did someone say something bad to her at school? Is it a teacher? A boy? Or is she just a little depressed about life in general? What is it?

 In either case, the kid isn’t going to tell you what is bothering her, so you just have to keep guessing.

2.      THE INDEPENDENCE THING

Half the time they’re kicking and screaming, trying to show their independence and why they don’t need their parents for every little thing anymore.

The other half of the time they hold on to you for dear life. Something bad has happened and they realize they don’t want to be so independent. So they find you, stick next to you, and take comfort in you.

And you can’t help thinking – why do they only want to be around me when they’re feeling bad?

3.      THE CHANGING MOOD THING

They’ll be in the most horrible mood one minute, and the next minute they’re Little Miss Sunshine. You never know what happens to change the mood.

In fact, it’s probably better not to ask.

4.      THE PUSH-IT-TO-THE-LIMIT THING

 They always want to see just how far they can go with you. So they always test things, especially things they know they’re not supposed to do.

 5-year-olds run off to the park, the very minute after you’ve said they can’t go to the park. You just finish saying they can’t go outside without a jacket, and they’re already running outside in just a T-shirt.

With teenagers it’s the same: they know what bothers you most and that’s what they want to do. You say that they can’t get their bellybutton pierced, and from then on they start saying that that’s exactly what they’re going to do: ‘If you don’t let me go to the party, I’m going to go get something pierced!’

5. THE ‘UHMA’ THING

 Your 4-year-old looks at you right in the eye as she turns her glass over and dumps juice on the floor.

12 years later she looks at you right in the eye as she brings home her boyfriend, ‘Iso Jaska’, who looks like he’s been living on the streets for 5 years and who has so much hair you can only see his eyes, barely. And that is only when he actually looks at you, which fortunately he doesn’t do very often.

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 WORDS:  Deal with it: käsitellä, Hold on for dear life: takertua, Mood: mieliala, Bellybutton: napa, Pierce: lävistää